One of our favorite Bizarre Heroes is The Slick, a roof-running, stream-spewing, sticky-fingered megahero in the more perverse Steve Ditko tradition. With his prick-pistol brimming with Slick-Stick™ and always about to pop, our priapic protagonist starred in his very own issue (Bizarre Heroes #15, Fiasco Comics Inc., January1996), and was memorably parodied by Dave Sim in his Guys story arc in Cerebus the Aardvark #209 (Aardvark-Vanaheim, August 1996), who rendered more graphically the onanistic subtext of the character.
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| The Slick eyes Darkcease in an unpublished splash page, circa 1998. |
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| Pencil and ink artwork, circa 1998. |
The Slick’s liminal adventures always bordered on the explicit (he was voted most likely to cross over with Wendy Whitebread, Undercover Slut), and his nocturnal missions more often involved fending off the groinal gropings of perennial groupie Mooncat or escaping the entangled restraints of predatory Rose Shark than fighting evildoers, strictly speaking.
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| Dave Sim parodies Bazaar Heroes in Cerebus #209 (Aardvark-Vanaheim, August 1996). |
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| The Wanker, ready to repel using the protean ribbon from his propulsion nozzle. |
An unpublished sequence from circa 1998, following his penultimate Bizarre Heroes climax, depicts an amorous encounter with Clarissa James, alias Ms. Megaton Man. However, when our boy follows Missy back to her lair, the contumely chimera turns out to be none other than Dark-Cease—one of the more fulminating femmes fatales among the evil Project Mainstream Megaclones—in disguise. In this newly-colored splash page, the igneous enchantress obviously desires Our Friendly Neighborhood Backdoor Surfer to douse her smouldering shunt-chute with lugubrious lubricant.
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| The Slick’s pseudo-solo issue capped his comic book capers and brought his Bizarre Heroes appearances to a head. From Bizarre Heroes #15 (Fiasco Comics Inc., January 1996). |
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| Mooncat wants to paw our pistol-packer’s pump-gun. From Bizarre Heroes #4 (Fiasco Comics Inc., August 1994). |
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| Rose Shark revels over her prone opponent. From Bizarre Heroes #4 (Fiasco Comics Inc., August 1994). |
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| The Webbed flicker writhes and flails to wriggle free. From Bizarre Heroes #4 (Fiasco Comics Inc., August 1994). |
The Slick will soon be making his literary debut in an upcoming chapter of the Ms. Megaton Man™ Maxi-Series, as none other than the leading lady’s nyctophilic lover, in prose that promises to be the most purple yet in that barely-YA narrative experiment.
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| B-50 has already appeared in the Ms. Megaton Man Maxi-Series, but the Slick’s shot has yet to come. From Bizarre Heroes #3 (Fiasco Comics Inc., July 1994). |
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| The Slick demonstrates his seminal attachment to Ms. Megaton Man. From Bizarre Heroes #3 (Fiasco Comics Inc., July 1994). |
Read More: Eroticism in Don Simpson's Comics, a two-part text essay with 64 unedited covers and comic book pages!
Catch the Sensational Slick’s upcoming guest shot in the prosaic Ms. Megaton Man™ Maxi-Series, the weekly serialized YA novel by Don Simpson! New chapter every Friday.
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All characters, character names, likenesses, words and pictures are ™ and © Don Simpson 2020, all rights reserved.
